" she began to weep."That's OK, Beth," I comforted."You see, if I'm beautiful now, then I did the rest..." she started to cry in earnest."For nothing,... I thought sadly in my head.I needed to comfort her. But I did not know what to say. I just held her in my arms. After a few minutes, I knew. "Beth, you have to leave the past behind. You have a whole new life with me. I've known you less than a few hours and I ... I think I'm falling for you!" I blurted."But you can't fall in love with your succ. I’m a woman. We all learned that black art at our mother’s knee.‘Are you going to be honest? Are you actually going to stay with that policy? Because that would be different. Ooh, I can’t wait! I never thought you would pull that one.’“No, we parted ways.”‘Oh come on. You’re divorced. So of course you parted ways – you’re dissembling. How many couples do you know who stay together after they’re divorced? Until they’re officially split apart, sure – but afterwards? I knew you couldn’t stay. That's right, he said with vehemence and shook me again. Now cover yourself before your mother gets home and he made for my door. As he was half out my door he leaned back in and said, and Eileen, you were no virgin. I can tell, so keep that in mind when I tell you to do something from now on so we can keep that just between us, too. You do as you're told from now on you fat little slut and no one gets hurt. That last remark hurt the most.And so it began again. I was getting fucked. She is astonished by his denial, how he affects the joie de vivre of a sight-seeing tourist anticipating his coming day. He says he wants to treat her. They'll spend the day on Princes Street, do all the shops. Fuck the expense. The memory of her night is eating her alive. Why doesn't he ask?That evening her shopping bags lie unopened on the bed. She is too exhausted to consider her purchases so soon, confront her fear of buyer remorse. She asks, "You okay, James?" Why shouldn't I be?" Me.
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