Bring me another beer.’”Tommy Lasorda, Los Angeles Dodgers manager: “I found out that it’s not good to talk about my troubles. Eighty percent ...f the people who hear them don’t care and the other twenty percent are glad I’m having them.”E.J. Holub, Kansas City Chiefs linebacker regarding his twelve knee operations: “My knees look like they lost a knife fight with a midget.”Vic Braden, tennis instructor: “My theory is that if you buy an ice cream cone and make it hit your mouth, you can learn to. She and her husband Ted Kidd were enjoying a free, all expense paid weekend in Las Vegas, curtsey of the company Ted worked for. Ted had to attend a five-day convention that would start next Monday and end Friday, but the company booked the rooms for the full week. They had arranged a golf outing for key employees on the Saturday before the conference leaving that evening and Sunday for the couple to enjoy a mini vacation. Jenny and Ted arrived late Friday night and Ted had to be on the course. "Harold", Jennifer asked, "how was it that a smart lawyer like yourself came to be enslaved? I think we would all be interested, if you are willing to talk about it?" Not a problem Jennifer", Harold Vick replied. "I am not proud of what I did. I was a partner in a law firm that did a lot of estate and trust work. My partners and I were all making a very good living. But I had a weakness for gambling and had run up a tab with one of the casinos. The casino could have me enslaved if I defaulted. Leave me alone.” “You got to eat.” Hazel walked past him and into the tent. Jerry sighed and said, “C’mon, can’t we just be friends. We promised your mom to get along.” There was only silence from inside. He tried again, “Hazel, please.” “Fuck off you idiot. I don’t want to be your friend. I don’t want to be close to you. Come to think about it, I don’t understand what my mother sees in you. She could get any man, and she settles for a fucking loser like you.” That’s when Jerry lost it. He.
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