. I don’t remember what I chose.2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask...for sex, she objects.4. Impotence: nature’s way of saying, “No hard feelings...”5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - ‘don’t’ and ‘stop’, unless they are used together.6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.7. There are three stages in a man’s life: Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and Try. You are wearing custom made vibrator panties from ‘Enchanted’!” Mumtaz’s eyes rolled as she read that. “And I have the remote.”Mumtaz could feel her panty oscillate for a second. It had two vibrating points, one right above her clit and another on her pussy hole. She felt it moving, and it rubbed her pussy very gently. She clenched the glass and closed her eyes.Mumtaz separated her lips and was taking in the erotic effect when it stopped. “That’s the first mode, it has 2 more modes.” The text. "Yes," I said. "Okay, yes. I was sleeping and she showed up and we made out and I thought it was you, at first, but then realized it was her and ... it happened." Did you use a condom?" she asked.I blinked. That was the first time I thought of the condoms hidden under the stack of T shirts in my dresser."Uh ... no," I said. I felt, suddenly, like I had to come up with an excuse for not doing so. "It was dark," I said.I guess it was a good excuse, because she kissed me again. That turned into a. “That sounds like fun mom.” He said grabbing something else from the bag. “This is for you right now.” He handed me a tear drop shaped black rubber thing. “What the fuck is this thing for?” I asked him holding it up. “It’s a butt plug mom. You’ll stick it in your ass while I fuck you.” He answered matter a factly. “Oh my that sounds fucking great.” I blurted out with a big smile on my face. “I thought you’d like that.” Ryan said with a smile. He then pulled out a longer.
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