And frankly I wasn't. I wanted to maintain a small herd from here froward. But I had decided horses were to be my main goal. But that took time, and m...ney. Both of which the cattle were going to buy me. I hoped."You ready?" JC called from the door connecting our rooms."Yeah, almost." I walked over and opened the door.Tonight was a more formal gathering. It was for owners and cattle barons, as JC called and suggested I attend."I'm not at all sure about this. It seems..." I waved a hand in the. Why do you want to talk to me?" she asked.I stood there. To be honest I remember having a clearer head when Istarted on my way here. "To...to just talk," I said with a little sigh. "Iwanted to see and find the person who got Lara pregnant and maybe learnwhy I inherited their child. But....but...what happened?" I asked.She flinched away as I held out a hand. I wanted to just dab at herface, to heal that bruise. What had happened here?"No...nothing," she said as she looked away. I knew I wouldn't. A sissy."I smoothed my dress over my thighs, feeling small and weak and feminine.Tears started in my eyes. It was true. I was a sissy. I would be a totalfailure as a man - I couldn't even be a proper boy! I pictured myselftrying to stand up to one of the boys at school and shuddered. He wouldbeat me to a pulp. He would make me admit I was a sissy girl, and hisgirlfriend would make me put on one of her uniforms, and..."Well," said Nana, "I happen to know of a private school that might begood for. I decided that Van Gogh's self-portrait was one of my favorites, even though it was crude, rough and looked like it might have been done by a rank amateur. It's so compelling that you can almost smell his body odor. I don't know if he was a smelly guy but the portrait looks like he didn't take very good care of himself.Halfway through our session, the doorbell rang."Ah," Mrs. James said as she stood and headed for the front door, "that'll be our model. She said she wanted to drop by and talk to.
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