I considered Vivian's outrageous words. And with a sinking feeling, I couldn't escape the realization that she most definitely meant them.I recalled w...at we'd just been talking about, what I'd been saying. Something about back when we'd shared the apartment, and my sinking feeling felt confirmed since I'd obviously put the thought in her mind.The day. The day our friendship had come so very close to ending, had ended temporarily, in fact. They'd been dating a couple of weeks, and she'd been. Woh apne lund ko ye sab soch achche se hila raha tha shayad.Jayse jayse Prakash apni kamar bina ruke hilaye ja raha tha wayse wayse meri aankhe madhoshi mein band hoti ja rahi thi. Muh se awaaz nahi nikal rahi thi. Par koshish karti hui phone mein boli: Bohut zor se chod raha hai mujhe, he is fucking mein so fast. Ahhhh!Rakesh ka udhar koi jawaab nahi aa raha tha. Shayad woh apne charam seema par pahunchne wala tha. Yaha meri halat Prakash ke maar se kharab ho rahi thi. Meri choot mein masti ki. You, as a middle class,white, male, just simply do not tick any of the required boxes; unless youare gay, of course?" she said with an inflection at the end of the sentenceto denote that she expected a reply."No, I am not, I am attracted to women. Would it help if I was gay?" Iresponded."Well, we might just have been able to squeeze you in if you were gay butwithout that you really have nothing. You're not from an ethnic minority,not female, not disabled, sorry differently abled, we're not. I fell in love with him. I fell madly in love with him, utterly and brutally as all unrequited love is. The feelings drove me crazy. They say falling in love is a type of sickness, yet when the object of your desires and affections doesn’t offer the cure, who or what does? The answer and antidote to that, is time. It’s always a long recovery period.I often if not constantly thought back to his ultimate rule that he told me on the day of our first trip to Cornwall and how absurd and irrelevant I.
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