" "You've always been a girl? All through school?" I looked at her through lowered eyes. "I've been a girl on the inside. Outside I was just what y...u saw. It's just that I'm finally able to be myself." "That's why you've always been a bit diff..." She broke off in embarrassment. "Different? You can say it. I know it. I've always known it." Tina looked at the floor, refusing to meet my eyes. "I feel like a real jerk. I've always gone along with the other kids. Nobody wanted anything to. There, he pulled my arms above my head and reached back for the restraint cuffs that hung along the top end of my mattress. The cuffs were connected to a nylon strap that disappeared under my mattress, only to reappear on the other end with the ankle cuffs attached. My distinct lack of a headboard and footboard meant traditional handcuffs were basically out of the question. But the under-mattress restraints allowed us to discreetly use them on whatever bed we wanted: mine, his, hotels, you. After finishing my drink, I took off my shoes then trundled upstairs into my bedroom and took off all my clothes, and then walked into the bathroom carrying my dirty linen which I then put into the wash basket, locked the door and started to fill the bath with hot water. It didn’t take long for the bath to fill up and despite the water slightly burning me, I got in and lied down for a soak.After a couple of minutes, I heard mom’s car barrel onto the driveway and stop, the drivers door slamming. I hoped so…and I would bring myself off again at the thought.Later that year my parents decided we would visit St David’s in Wales for a week. Before we left my mother got my sister and I to try on our wet-suits. She told us that they were both a little tight now and on the first day in Wales she took us both to a surf shop on the road to the beach. The proprietor was a fit, toned man of about thirty. He was not particularly good-looking but he was in good shape and his tight t-shirt showed his.
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