As those feelings, and that pain, came rushing back, I fully realized that we would never get together again. I may forgive her, I may become her frie...d, but she would never be my girlfriend. I would never open myself up to her again. I would never trust her fully again. I...I felt the sadness and grief at the loss of what could have been. Tracy could have been my first great love. I knew from the start that the odds were against us. We made a hell of a team. We fit together supporting each. When we pulled into the driveway I still had my shoes on, and I grabbed my dress and slipped it on so I wasn’t naked because we have nosey neighbours. Once we were out of the car we made our way inside the house. I walked into the kitchen and poured myself a wine, grabbed the bottle and a spare glass, then made my way up to the bedroom. I walked into the bathroom, taking a sip of my wine, and turned the bath water on so it would run slowly. I poured you a glass and handed it to you. Then I. Fred was easy to get along with. The customers loved him. I learned one hell of a lot from him too. He wasn't the most expressive guy I've ever met, but once you broke through he'd tell stories about working aboard commercial freighters that would curl your hair and make your ass pucker up for days. His stories about incompetent cooks were hilarious. His stories about incompetent captains were harrowing. It was his stories that made me admit that I was playing a shell game. I needed the. It was the the catalyst I needed ask her outside to talk. I used all the key clichés that sounded so useless when I’d heard them directed towards me: “It’s not you, it’s me"; "I just like you more as a friend"; "I just don’t think we’re looking for the same thing"; etcetera, etcetera... With the deed done, I was looking forward to release from the stress of having to execute a breakup. The only problem was, the more the night wore on, the guiltier I was feeling. I was feeling more and more like.
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