Why do you think I freaked out on you that one time?”I didn’t know how to respond to that. I just blinked.“And the fact that I couldn’t walk ...way from you, or even stop thinking about you, even after months of trying... well, if I can’t fight it, then I at least need to know what I’m in for.”I tried to come up with an answer, but I couldn’t. “I-I don’t really know either,” I said.“Well,” he said, “you can start by showing me what you were up to this summer.”I really didn’t want to go there. . Right now all he was doing was chatting online with his school friends from Manchester. He told all his old mates Jim and Norman about Ivy and what he did to her when he was a little kid.Norman: Just don't tell her who you areJim: Yeah but she is gonna find out sooner and laterCharles: Can't stop thinking about her. She looked like a witch then and looks like an angel nowNorman: I guess it's karma for the way you treated herJim: Norman? What are you saying?Norman: Just joking manCharles: Norman. To compensate for not being able to have intercourse, a couple years ago she relented from a long-time prohibition on my watching porn videos online. (When I was very young and had no girlfriend, I used to use porn mags as visual aids for masturbation; videos are the modern equivalent and far superior.) She'd never been into them herself, but when I told her I thought it might help me get turned on she agreed -- and now she enjoys them, too. Her only rule is that we have to watch them together. I just once want to pretend that I'm showing my bee that I've a granddaughter of my very own!" Er...huh, see...I mean...but, I'm a boy, Aunt Em," I gingerly demurred and emphasized. "I mean, isn't there a girl somewhere else who can pose way better than me we can ask to??" I would--but it wouldn't be the same. If I ever had a real god daughter, I'd want her to be exactly like you, Peter," she gently saidin a weird complimentary way. She patted my hand. "Peter. It'd mean somuch to me before I.
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