I also had her cell number if anything dire came up. It never did, of course, but parents always think something might.I went over to her house to hav... a swim, they had a very nice pool out back which I knew I could use whenever I wanted. No one was home so I let myself into the backyard like I often did.As I was swimming, I heard, "Hi, Brian, looks like fun, I'll be right out." It was Debra, now twenty-two, who, in a few minutes, came running out and dove in the pool with me."Oh, this feels so. " Mom," I started again, "I will not be a woman. I do not want it. I amhappy as a man!" Listen Carl. Unfortunately you are not a man anymore. I wish you were.And if you were, I would never want such a thing from you. But we shouldface the reality. You lost your manhood. You will either live as asexless creature, or became a full woman. You should look at the issuefrom this dimension." Mom, everything is so new. Why are you insisting so much!" I started tocry again."Listen my dearest; they say. “Show me!” you said curtly. I begged you again not to push me too far too soon. I could feel your insistence and your growing anger at my excuses. I tried – truly I did – I stood before you and lifted my skirt, my eyes tight closed not wanting to see my own imagined ugliness! Then the tears were prickingmy eyes, my bottom lip trembling, vulnerable, child-like I wanted to run away. I clicked you off, signed off the net and sat here in the dark not understanding my own discomfort about exposing. The doors slid open with a grinding noise that only comes from old dorm elevators."April? What's wrong?"I blinked the tears out of my eyes and looked up. Slowly, Ann's face came into focus. She was standing over me, looking at me like she was scared. I must have looked a mess to her. Still, I couldn't bring myself to say anything. I opened my mouth to speak, but choked on my tears."Aw, Christ," Ann said.Ann punched one of the buttons, and the doors closed. I felt the elevator begin to ascend.
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