At thispoint I should say a few things about my style at the time, I wasn'tdressing as a girl, I was simply dressing as me, a new romantic whosestyle ...as something between Japan circa Adolescent Sex and Boy George.If I wore skirts, which I often did, they weren't fitted or shortskirts, they were long and flowing, more gypsy style, I didn't own a braas I liked my slim smooth boyish chest. I had dressed as a girl as ayoung teenager, but now was happy to be on the femme side ofandrogynous.Mark's. Vanessa asks me to play one more round with her and I say "Sure, why not? Spin it girl." Vanessa spins the bottle wildly and it slides off the table and into my lap. "Guess it is my turn." I say with a laugh. Vanessa laughs loudly and says "Truth or Shot?" I answer "Truth." Vanessa turns her head a little and thinks and then says "Do you think Susan is prettier than me?" I think she is joking and I tell her to "ask me a real question." Vanessa repeats the question "Do you think Susan is. They attend your business functions while the wife stays at home.”I’m not as appalled at her statement since it is a part of her culture. With Moira’s culture, people aren’t supposed to cheat. If she thinks I should cheat, what does it say about her moral compass?“Then think of me as the man that gets his wife to ask one of her girlfriends to attend the meetings with him, so he doesn’t have to fuck other women.”Kim kisses me again then says, “And you wonder why we all love you so much.”I laugh. For a second, I’m not thinking about anything but the difficulty of getting my stuff read, let alone published because my full name is Raiqah Muhammad Hussein. With a Moroccan father and white American mother, I’m interesting but not all that marketable for the masses. The meal transitions from entree to dessert, all syrupy pastries that remind me of home. I’m struck by acute homesickness and fight off tears as I think of my father layering phyllo dough, crushing nuts, and mixing rose water.
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