I started to realize that Ed wasn't much of a lover.I was much more eager when a little while later Ed took me to another swinging party with about 50...people. I realized from the last time that I really loved being fucked in front of other people. Knowing I was being watched was a really exciting turn on for me.That time I ended up being fucked by a 6'3"construction worker with a 10 inch long cock. I learned the joy a 10 inch cock can bring to a girl. I also went out with that fellow several. She could see that I was no loser. I work out and it shows. My curly blonde hair and blue eyes were attractive enough to pick up women without any crazy lines. Still she wasn't convinced."Lucky guess again," she said."If you think so," I said. "My name is Lucas, and yours?"She took me hand. "Barbara," she said.Ah, the power in a name. I have never given my true name myself until tonight but it was just that kind of a night. I held her name in my mind and the other parts of her opened to me like. Four years in college and four years at the seminary. I had degrees in philosophy and in theology. I chose this for myself. I had a sign from God when I was recovering from Cancer as a young child. Jesus came to me several times during my recovery. Not sure if it really happened in present time or just in dreams like I had believed. He told me this was the path that I needed to go on. It would be a long and tedious journey with lots of sacrifices. This is the journey I decided to go on. . I'd resigned myself to putting in my time like everybody else until I realized that I wouldn't be able to be with Jack for a couple of years if I did.But I knew I was going against the grain. It was something people just didn't do. The fact that this sheep didn't want to stay with the flock was going to cause problems. The accepted way to do it would have been to convince Jack, my father and Jack's mother, most likely in that order, then go talk to my counselor. It probably would have taken.
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